Why Thoughtful Gestures Are Better Than Extravagant Gifts

Now I know that I may be a little biased, but I LOVE a thoughtful gesture.  Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy a big bunch of flowers and the odd bit of expensive jewellery too (!), but nothing really says that someone loves me and gets me more than a small act of friendship that they have really thought about.

When Dad died, I got sent a lot of flowers which I did appreciate, but I also felt a little like I had been ticked off a to do list: 

  • Tidy House ✅
  • Make dinner ✅
  • Send generic sympathy gift to friend ✅

It didn’t feel like it really connected with me and what I was going through at the time.  As I’ve mentioned before, it was the chocolate and postcard in the post that made me cry when I realised that someone had REALLY thought about what I was going through and what I needed in those darkest of days.

Now I know it can be incredibly difficult to get sympathy gifts right; to know what to say when someone is bereaved.  But here’s the thing, the person who is experiencing the loss is still your friend, they are still the same person you laugh with, drink prosecco with and rant and rave to.  They are not a new being to be afraid of, or someone to be worried that you will offend. What they need to know is that you are still standing by their side, that you recognise their intense grief and you’re not trying to make it better, you’re just trying to make them feel less alone.

And I believe that a small token gesture can make any situation better.  In the very early days after Ben, my eldest, was born, I got sent a multitude of really lovely flowers and baby grows and books, but the gifts (and gift senders!) that I remember were some really yummy chocolates (which I devoured in one cluster feed) and a jiffy bag I received when Tom went back to work full of little token gifts like a magazine, Haribo and a card saying that I was doing a good job.  These were the perfect gifts of meaningful things that meant the world to me.

So why do we spend a fortune on generic extravagant flowers and gifts, when really we all know that it’s the little things that matter? I think it’s because as we get busier in our own lives, it’s harder to find time to do the little things that really can make someone’s day.

That’s why I created Tell Her You Care – I wanted to make it easy for busy women to send thoughtful tokens of friendship.  A simple and affordable way to make your friend feel special. Whether it’s sending a text to someone who has been on your mind or dropping off a magazine at your friend’s house, do a little something for someone else today. It will probably mean the world to them.